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Venue: Mitcham Hotel

Location: 556 Maroondah Highway, Mitcham

Date: Sunday May 5th, 2024

Website: https://www.mitchamhotel.com.au/

Reviewers: Stephen, Tom, Ainslie

The expression ‘like watching a trainwreck in slow motion’ is not one that I ever really wanted to associate with any of our reviews. However, I felt that it is probably the best analogy or turn of phrase for me to use this week. Mitcham Hotel was not the venue we initially intended on visiting this weekend. However, after a number of our usual crew came down ill, there was a scramble to get three of us together. Enter Ainslie, in for her second review for Parmapot, however on the condition that we do a local of hers. So, Mitcham Hotel it was agreed on, a venue I had once had the Parma at before, so it’s only fair to say that my expectations were tempered heading in…

Upon entering Mitcham Hotel I was greeted by a friendly front of house staff, who gave us the pick of tables and advised it was a order drinks at the bar and food either by QR code or up at the kitchen counter. We opted for seats right near the only TV in the main bistro area to catch the end of the Bulldogs v Hawks match. Mitcham Hotel I would describe as another one of those chain pub type venues. It’s clean but with a bit of a sterile vibe to the place. Main bistro area with the bar on one side and kitchen down the back, a side dinning area which I think is only used for overflow during events like Mother’s Day lunch etc, and then a side sports bar area with some TAB machines. The venue is nice, but there’s certainly nothing about it that stands out or that is overly memorable.

At the bar, the beer tap list is pretty underwhelming. Carlton Draught, Stone & Wood, Balter and one more that I can’t recall, but that’s it. A few bottle options and plenty of spirits and wines to pick from, however no Stouts, Porters, or Sour Beers to pick from (not that it’s the season for a Sour). So, if you’re looking for a good variety of drinks, it’s fair to say that Mitcham Hotel probably isn’t for you. However, onto the kitchen counter to order our food, and at Mitcham there is the option to go with Chips and Veggies over Chips and Salad if one wants. This is only the second venue so far to offer up this option. So, for $2.00 extra, taking the total price up to $30.00, Tom opted in for Veggies, where as Ainslie and myself stuck with the traditional Salad.

Before the Parmas arrived, we decided to indulge in sharing a Garlic Bread with cheese. It came out pretty quick and was a very appealing. Hot, crispy bread with golden melted cheese with a little herb sprinkling on top. Maybe I was being overly negative from the top, and maybe this was the perfect warm up to what would be a Parma to surprise? Well just as quickly as we had finished our bead, the Parmas hot the table and I cam crashing back to reality, like Caitlyn Jenner driving a motor vehicle.

When the Parma hot the table, it was blatantly obvious that it was a processed piece of chicken. It was a dark brown thick crumb, with a dark red thick Napoli on top and my expectations quickly took a dive again. Now despite what I’m about to say, I want to give some credit to the chef at Mitcham Hotel, as I think they did a pretty good job at cooking it as well as they did. As I said, this was a really thick crumb, the type of crumb you often see fall away from the thin bit of chicken that is there. However, the crumb held firm, and certainly did provide plenty of crunch. Far too much crunch in my opinion but crunch all the same. The chicken itself was cooked pretty well. I mean it was thin, but it wasn’t dry and maintained some natural juices which added to the dish. As I touched on however, the Napoli sauce was very disappointing. It felt like (I’m not saying it was) someone got some of that Lego’s Tomato Paste from the small packs, added in some diced onion, and put a dollop a top the Parma far too generously. It was thick and the main flavour you got from every bite. The ham and cheese were present, however didn’t offer a lot to the dish as outside the rich tomato paste, chicken flavour and crunch, you couldn’t get much else. The cheese was well distributed though and was melted nicely, I’ll give them that.

The chips were probably the best bit of the dish. Now again they had some faults to them, bit overall they were cooked well, there were a decent amount and were your traditional steak cut pub chip. They were a little starchy, however nothing criminal and came with little seasoning. However, a quick grab of the saltshaker brought them back to life. Some Tomato or Aioli would have been a nice touch for these chips, and probably would have elevated them up a level, however none were offered or were asked for, so we got by with what we had.

As for the salad and Veggies, this is where there was a little bit of disparity. Ainslie and I were not a fan of the salad on offer. It came in a little side bowl, which is always a nice touch. It consisted of lettuce leaves, shredded carrot, tomato and onion, the usual array. So how can it be a bad salad you might ask??? Well, this thong was drowned, and I mean drowned in Balsamic dressing! To the extent that every bite of lettuce caused our eyes to sting, it was just far too much. As for Tom with his Veggies, he was much more satisfied with what he had on offer. Steamed corn, broccoli, carrot and cauliflower. They weren’t exactly reinventing the wheel with what he had. But they were cooked well, clean and satisfying from his end. Also void of eye stinging balsamic which is a plus!

What were the final thoughts and scores? See for yourself;

Tom: This tasted like a processed stock standard Parma. Chips were also very basic and plain.

Ainslie: This Parma was worse then the time I got banned from Twitch TV!

The Scores:

PARMA: 4.80/10

CHIPS: 6.60/10

DRINKS: 6.07/10

ATMOSPHERE/EXPERIENCE: 6.63/10

SALAD/VEGGIES: 6.10/10

OVERALL: 5.61/10

In the end, I think Mitcham Hotel did ok to get the score that it did. As I said from the start, the whole evening was a bit like watching a trainwreck in slow motion. I knew what was coming, but I just couldn’t look away from what was coming.

The staff were nice, and it’s a classic chain type pub, where it might be ok to stop by for a beer and watch the football and play the pokies if that’s your thing. But for me, I suspect that might be the last time I venture to The Mitcham Hotel.

Till next time.