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Venue: Town Hall Hotel

Location: 33 Errol Street, North Melbourne

Date: Sunday April 14th, 2024

Website: https://townienorthmelb.com/

Reviewers: Stephen, Ollie, Tom, Chris, Tracy

A wise man once said that “a Parma should always be presented in a traditional format, otherwise we’re left with chaos. A gaping pit waiting to swallow the venue that it’s been served from. But just maybe chaos isn’t a pit. Maybe chaos is a ladder? Many venues who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to their outside the box Parma or their tap list or cool venue. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.” I can’t remember who it was that said it? I think his name with Matin George maybe? But the point is that chaos is seems to be the theme of the week and whether an altered Parma can or should be the norm?

This week we headed just north of the city to Town Hall Hotel in North Melbourne which won our poll this week (thank you to the voter), a venue we had never ventured to before, so were keen to see what kind of a venue it was. The drive in was easy and upon approaching this hole in the wall pub we were treated to quite the unique venue. Town Hall Hotel has that real dive bar look about which some people mightn’t like, but we absolutely love! Think old school Espy vibes. Front bar poorly lit with sticky and thread bare carpet. Old school gas heater on the wall, paint peeling from the walls, and where you can’t see paint peeling is covered in music memorabilia and art. Think Iggy Pop, Rolling Stones etc. Just out the back from there is a dining area with a similar feel, but a separate bar. Then there’s a side outside walkway with tables for the smokers, before you take a left hand turn into an outside dining area, complete with wooden tables and outside heaters. Like the inside, it has a rustic feel to it, and I think the gardening is taken care of on the occasional visit, but the fairy lights and relaxed atmosphere create quite the space. 

Up to the bar to order some drinks and the lineup of drinks is decent without being spectacular. Carlton Draught, Stone & Wood, Balter, the usual suspects really. However, there was also Fixation IPA and a Coldstream Porter to mix things up a bit, along with a selection of basics wine & spirits. But Parmas ordered and back to the table wait on their arrival. Well worth noting however that this venue has the full and half serving Parma on offer, which is always a good thing to offer. Plus, at only $20.00 for the half Parma, that’s pretty good going for current costs of living.

After about a 30-minute wait for our Parma’s to arrive, they hit the table and the first thing we noticed was that this was no ordinary Parma! Chaos was about to ensure. For first the ham was gone and in it’s place we had Bacon! Often a good thing, as we all know, everything is better with Bacon, but it certainly took us by surprise. And then upon tucking in, our next surprise was the Napoli. It wasn’t really a Napoli sauce, however more of a bolognaise mince sauce. Again, chaos across the table as this wasn’t to be expected. It’s like we’d ordered a Bolognaise Parma, however we didn’t know it. The flavours were really good however and were well enjoyed across the table by all. They were hot and the cheese was smooth and gooey providing solid coverage across the bird, while the bacon was cooked crispy and provided a nice salty element. However, where the Parma at Town Hall did let itself down (at least with reviewer Tom & myself) was in it’s thickness as we had quite thin schnitzels before us. It meant that the ratio of chicken to topping was quite out of whack and at times you had to remind yourself that you were eating a Chicken dish and not a Bacon/Beef dish. Also, the bottom of both our (and almost all on the table) dish was burnt close to black. While it didn’t seem to bother the other reviewers, as Tom and I had the thinner Parmas on the table, the burnt bottom meant that every mouthful had that slight ashen flavour to it. This is where the novelty style Parma topping worked in the favour of Town Hall by masking the burn taste. If it was a traditional Parma, it may well have scored a bit lower.

The chips came underneath the Parma again, much to the frustration of many. They were cooked well, maybe slightly overcooked, but they were lightly seasoned with salt, well enough that we didn’t require any further salt. They came with a side pot of tomato sauce which was a welcome addition as I found them a little run of the mill. Standard pub steak cur chips that were crisp and did the job. Except for reviewer Tom, who I think had more slices of onion in his salad then chips on his plate.  Good, but forgettable I think was a common phrase. Though Keto Chris (who is finally off Keto) was loving his.

The salad was a pretty big highlight of the dish. It was a Parmesan Rocket salad (very generous of the Parmesan) with onion and apple. Yes that’s right, apple! More chaos at the table! However the apple worked really well with the Vinaigrette, it provided what was a really fresh and luscious salad with crunch coming from the apple and onion and bite from the Parmesan. It truly was one of the best salads that we’ve had to date. 

Where did things sit when all was said and done with so much chaos flying around everywhere with Bacon, Bolognese and Apple? See what everyone thought and what their scores were below.

Ollie: The Parma was chaos in good and bad ways. If you want to be punched in the face with flavours to a Parma. This is the one for you.

Tracy: Quite big for the half portion. But I loved the venue. I felt drunk walking through it.

Tom: I couldn’t see any chips to start with, and when I found them, there were only about 6 or 7. But walking through the place is cool. Kind of like its own mini gold course.

Chris: Bacon on your Parma. Who doesn’t love that!

The Scores:

PARMA: 8.16/10

CHIPS: 7.46/10

DRINKS: 7.76/10

ATMOSPHERE/EXPERIENCE: 8.68/10

SALAD: 8.74/10

OVERALL: 8.01/10

Town Hall Hotel in North Melbourne really was chaos in how everything came across. The hole in the wall dive bar feel with an odd lay out and side outdoor walkway, to their non-traditional Parma and unkept outdoor garden area. But it’s chilled, relaxed and the sort of place I want to spend more time. I’m amazed it’s taken me this long to discover the place. A real gem just outside the Melbourne CBD. Plus, it’s also mentioning that although I wasn’t as big a fan of the Parma as some others on the table. At only $26.00, it’s one of the best value for money Parmas we’ve had to date. Well worth checking out in my opinion!

Till next time.